just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
