i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
