There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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