pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
BRING THE BAGELS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize