I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
