I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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