YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
