when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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