garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
