I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
