your thong is hanging out like whoa
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
