You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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