just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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