I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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