He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
