Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
