i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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