found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I only lived at night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
