I wanna bring you to show and tell
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
