Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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