I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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