Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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