i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
