I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
