I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
