Me. At least after what I've been through.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
