Can i not drive my cunt home
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
