The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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