I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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