i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
