I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.