Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You work out of a Hotel?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers