i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
