We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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