Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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