Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
