yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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