This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
