So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
