dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
