that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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