Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
