Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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