I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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