Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Whatcha textin bout Willis?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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(831): View more from California

atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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(440): View more from Ohio

We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

(1-440): View more from Ohio

I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(661): View more from California

No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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(417): View more from Missouri

My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme

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