I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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