People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
