Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
