real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
