I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
