I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
