Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
