I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
