You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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