You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
