Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize