this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
