I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
