At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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