Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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