oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
