There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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