evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize