Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
