He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
