She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
