Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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