i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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