3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
