My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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