is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
