Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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