Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
