Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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