I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
