Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize